Happiness
by Ai-channiieezz
Summary: Mei Lin is miserable, she's all alone in the world, and she's not happy. But...she has *ONE* little thing to live to keep her happy, a gift from Li.


NOTE TO EVERYONE: I don't own any of these CCS characters, so don't sue me or anything.  
This is a MeiLi Fic, so *PLEASE* don't flame me S+S fans, besides, this is my first attempt at a CCS fic ever!!   
Okay, well about the story, they're all adults. There's a flashback during the story, so you'll know what happened. I rate my story  
PG...there's angst in it. Well...I love reviews^_^. So...read if at your own will!!  
  
  
~*Happiness*~  
By: Ai-channiieezz-lyragayle@yahoo.com  
  
I pull the blankets closer. 'I'm tired…of everything in life right now. I'm tired of myself, of this life; I'm tired of lies and broken promises. That's all of what I gotten…I've never been completely happy. For once in my life I would like to be. It's impossible though…my joyous and happy years disappeared years ago…he's gone. I gave up everything to his happiness. In stories and fairytales, the characters always end up happy, even though they give their only true happiness to *one* person. I never ended up that way…I try to hard…to be happy.  
  
I've been abused and used by so many people…and yet…I don't care. Everything in my life is gone…I have *nothing* to live for…why should I care? Does anybody care anymore?' I look out my window and sob. 'I remember that very day…I was betrayed, hurt, angry, and yet…happy. I had mixed feelings that I didn't understand…I still don't. It's been years since I've seen him…and I miss him dearly. I'm back in Hong Kong, to my usual miserable life. Sakura and Li…married…already.   
  
No one understands me…Li did…*my* Li did…but he's gone. He broke all his promises that he's ever made…he's ruined everything in my life, and I should hate him for it…but I don't.' I cuddle some more against my pillows and messed up blankets. 'He caused all of this…and yet…I love him so much, still. You might say it's pitiful…but I can't stop it. I love Li…I always have, and I'll never stop.  
  
Li and Sakura's wedding was the most miserable day of my life. *I* should've been there! *I* should've said 'I do'!! Not Sakura! I loved you Li! Not her! But yet…you chose her…and not me. Why? Am I a bad person? Am I ugly? Am I bad? Is there *something* wrong with me?!' I grab the closest picture of Li and I and throw it against a wall. "I HATE YOU LI SYOARAN! YOU CAUSE ALL THIS PAIN!" I scream and shout. 'I scream and shout all I want…and no one hears me. No one ever will…I'm all alone in this miserable world…' I look down and pat my stomach. 'At least I have you…you're all I have in the memory of *ever* being happy. That's why I haven't died yet…you're the reason…and I love you for it.  
  
I remember that night with all my heart. I was all alone at my house. My mother was gone, everyone was. I was drinking…so close to suicide. Everyone thought I was stronger than that…but they were *all* wrong. You came along all of a sudden. You knocked on the door and came in. You stopped me from something I was *supposedly* going to regret. I was sobbing and crying. I remember every word spoken that night.'  
  
~*Mei Lin…it's going to be okay…I promise you. *~  
  
I look up at him. ~*Li, everything is gone…all my happiness, I'm hollow…there's no reason why I should even be alive. *~  
  
~*What're you talking about?! *~  
  
I suddenly have this angry look on my face and slap him. ~*GOD DAMN IT LI! DON'T YOU GET IT?! EVERYTHING IS GONE! MY WHOLE LIFE IS GONE! *~ I push him away and fall to my knees. My voice suddenly turns into a quiet whisper. ~*I gave up everything…for you. My life disappeared when I gave you to Sakura-Chan. I don't know why I did it…but I did. *~ I whisper quietly. He stands there, silent, not knowing what to say at all. ~*All I want is happiness…and if I can find that…I'll live…just a little at least…I'll be happy. *~ I say. ~*BUT IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!*~ I grab a pillow and throw it. I stand up and grab his shoulders and start shaking him. ~*It's not going to happen Li! No one cares anymore!! No one loves me! Is there one god damn reason I should even be alive?! Am I even worth your time of stopping?! *~ I yell at him. I don't stop shaking him and I don't stop crying. The fierce, fiery, confident Mei Lin is gone. It's replaced with an angry insane menace that was inside Mei Lin and she never knew.  
  
~*Mei Lin, What are you talking about?!*~ He shouts. He grabs my hands and stops me. ~*LISTEN TO ME! I don't know where you got those thoughts, but you're wrong! *~  
  
I'm speechless. I'm suddenly thinking that…it might be him. I hated reality, I always will. ~*Really?! Well then tell me who Li! My mom?! Your mom?! You're wife-to-be?! WHAT LI?! TELL ME! *~  
  
I looked at him straight in the eyes. Even though his gaze was peircing and hurting me so...I couldn't take it...but I'm Mei Lin  
Rae...at least I was. Maybe there's some left of me...maybe.  
  
He suddenly has this speechless expression. It was like everything in the world stopped. He let go of my hands slowly. He looks at me intently. I wanted to turn away, but I couldn't…something was stopping me. All of a sudden, he chokes out 'I do Mei Lin'. Everything in my world stops…I'm expressionless, speechless, shocked, I was everything! I felt a bolt of happiness go through my whole body. I bow my head and fall to my knees, and start sobbing again. Li drops down to his knees and lifts my head with his finger. I look at him. He looks so sincere and true. It's the first true and sincere look he's given me in years...how could I resist? All of a sudden, he kisses me. It felt so true…so right. I kiss back not knowing what was going to happen.  
  
'I was in Japan then…and now I'm back in Hong Kong.' I rub my stomach lightly. 'Even though I'm miserable right now…I have at least one little thing to keep me happy.' I stand up and walk to the window. 'I guess that's why it's so hard to hate you Li…even though my life is miserable…you gave me something to live for…' I smile and look out. 'I thank you.'  
  
  
~**~  
Well, that's it...my FIRST attempt...so try to be nice^.~. BBIIYYEEZZ!!  
  



End file.
